8 Psycho-Spiritual Practices to Heal Your Heart
(10 minute read)
This blog post is the continuation of my podcast episode: “Why Are Break-ups So Damn Painful?” so go ahead and listen to this episode if you haven’t done so already. In this episode I talk about the 3 psycho-spiritual reasons why break-ups are universally so painful, to help you understand and process your hurt from a deeper level of consciousness. This episode is all about understanding our core wounds and our conditioning so we can heal our hearts from a place of inner peace and freedom.
After you listen to this episode, try any one of these practices to support you on your heart-healing journey.
8 Practices To Heal Your Heart
1) Global Heart-Healing Meditation
What helps me when I’m feeling hurt and heart-broken is to remember that I’m not alone. Heart-break is one of our most shared human experiences. There is so much comfort in knowing that there were many broken hearts that came before me and many more will come after me too.
When I think of how many people there are in the world right now, right in this moment who are going through a break-up like me, whose heart is hurting like mine, who feel just as I do: alone, rejected, abandoned…I feel comforted and less alone.
My Global Heart-Healing Meditation will help you connect to other broken-hearted souls around the world and find some relief in your shared pain.
Below are the basic instructions for the meditation. You can modify it in a way that feels right for you.
In the East, it is said that tears are the sacred language of the heart. When the heart is in pain, it is important to give it space to speak and express itself through tears. Tears are not only a form of release, but they are also cleansing and purifying as well. When you take the stigma away from crying, it can become one of the most beautiful practices for connecting with your heart and supporting it to heal.
My suggestion is to block off time for a good crying session whenever you need it. It might sound a bit odd, but for those who have to work or carry out responsibilities with their family or kids, it’s important to carve out private time for yourself to release the sadness and be with your pain.
You can turn crying into a meditation practice by creating a sacred space and setting the mood with candles, music, and incense. For some people, it is very easy to cry; if you need help, you can support your tears by bringing up an emotional memory, watching a sad movie, or listening to a song that makes you feel nostalgic.
Crying also activates your inner child energy so this is a chance to practice supporting and holding yourself as the loving parent who swoops in and comforts your child. You can ask your child what it needs and how you can support him/her. Use this opportunity to connect deeply with the most tender and intimate parts of yourself.
You can download my Free Inner child Ebook for more practices on activating and connecting to your inner child.
Journaling is a powerful tool for self-inquiry, self-exploration, and self-awareness. It’s as process of stimulating the heart and mind together for capturing our stream of consciousness onto paper. Journaling helps us organize our thoughts, observe the mechanics of the mind, and gather profound insights about our psyche. We can use this technique to connect deeply with our pain and illuminate those parts of ourselves that feel fearful, abandoned, rejected, or confused.
If you are going through a break-up, chances are you have many anxious or fearful thoughts, feelings, and beliefs floating around in your head and body that are related to your core abandonment or rejection wounds.
I suggest to write down every single one of those fears, beliefs, feelings, tensions, or anxieties so that you can explore and question: how do you relate to your fears? Where are they coming from? Are they true? Can you reframe them?
Don’t worry about how you “sound” and just write from the heart. Dump your thoughts onto paper so they no longer take up space in your mind and heart. Once your thoughts and feelings leave you, you can gain a lot more clarity and insight around them. Journaling has led to some of my most profound insights and breakthroughs. I highly recommend this practice!
The practice of prayer is very personal so I can’t tell you how to pray or who to pray to, but whatever Higher Power you believe in—whether that’s God, the Universe, Mother Nature, your spirit guides, or angels—prayer reminds us of our interconnectedness with all of existence and reassures us that we are always divinely supported on our path. Prayer is also a heart-centered practice because it invites an attitude of surrender and gratitude to our hearts. If you feel uncomfortable with the word "prayer" due to its religious connotations, you can think of it more like an intention-setting practice.
Instead of praying for something specific (such as getting back together with your ex), pray for sovereignty. Pray for inner peace. Pray for your heart to heal. Pray for courage and resilience. Pray for forgiveness. Pray for Truth. Pray for Love.
One of my personal favorite healing practices is dancing. I love to dance my little heart out when I’m in pain! Dance is the universal language of the soul. It is a divine expression of our Spirit and connects us to the earth through our legs and feet. When we dance, we strengthen our energetic connection with nature, which increases our wellbeing and sense of belonging to the world.
Dance is not only an outlet for expressing our pain, but it’s also a way for us to not store pain in our body. Through dance, we allow for our life force to move through our energy centers (chakras) and energy pathways (nadis), so that we keep our inner body healthy and clear from blockages and tensions that might later turn into chronic pain, hypertension, insomnia, and a host of other physical ailments. Dance is one of the most effective and natural techniques for somatic release.
So put on your favorite tunes and dance your little heart out! And don’t tell me you don’t know how to dance! Every human is capable of dancing; as I always say: if you can walk, you can dance. So no excuses!
Dance through your pain. Dance through your heart-ache. Dance through your confusion. Dance through the chaos. Dance through the mess and the magic. Dance through your joy. When life gives you a body, make it dance.
Another great practice for moving and clearing your energy is breathwork! Breathwork can be defined as “conscious breathing.” It can involve taking slow, long, rhythmic breaths, or breathing in a fast, deep, chaotic way, depending on the technique you’re using.
The breath is what gives us our life force; it belongs to the subtle layer of the energy body which protects the heart. Through breathwork, we penetrate the innermost layers of our Being and flood the body with our energy. When we flood the blood with energy, we activate our energy centers which stores our emotions (particularly around the heart chakra).
Breathwork is an incredibly healing practice for emotional and somatic release. You can find many breathwork facilitators and practices online. For those who are new, BreathworkOnline is a great place to start.
7) Silent meditation
When we are in a great deal of heartache and pain, it’s normal for the mind to run a mile a minute. Racing thoughts? Check. Obsessing over the past? Check. Worried about the future? Check. Waking up with anxiety? Check.Difficulty falling asleep? Check. Overanalyzing everything? Check.
The neurotic tendency of the mind is even more heightened during heart-ache because a noisy mind distracts us from a broken heart. Avoiding or numbing our feelings through work, alcohol, food, shopping, social media, etc., is much easier than sitting with our pain, but it’s much more damaging to our emotional, psychological, spiritual, and physical wellbeing in the long run.
Silent sitting meditation is a keystone practice of bringing the mind into complete stillness and entering the present moment with judging, labeling, or identifying with our thoughts and emotions. If you don’t know how to quiet the mind, you will perpetually be a slave to your thoughts and emotions. Meditation helps us develop equanimity and neutrality towards our emotions so that we can manage the ups and downs of life with inner peace and freedom.
Kirtan is a sacred song and dance that comes from the ancient practice of Bhakti yoga, which is a branch of yoga that focuses on loving devotion towards a deity, God, or goddess. It is said that Kirtan brings you back to the Source in the Heart because of its enchanting melodies that connect us to the present moment through sound. The mantras that are chanted are often Sanskrit words that carry a specific intention or energy of pure being, pure presence, pure awareness, pure bliss, and pure joy.
Here’s my Spotify Playlist of my favorite Kirtan tracks!
General Life Tips
It goes without saying that during a time when you’re feeling down and lonely, it’s really important to show up for yourself through basic self-care practices to keep your nervous system healthy and your mind-body into balance. The basics of self-care are:
Another suggestion I have is to LIMIT YOUR TIME ON SOCIAL MEDIA! Social media can actually make us feel even more alienated and alone if we’re already feeling lonely. While it gives us the illusion of being “social,” social media engagement doesn’t activate areas of our brain that are responsible for social and emotional connection. Instead, spend quality time with family and friends who love and support you. Reach out to mentors/teachers or find a therapist who can hold healing space for you and give guidance. There is so much support available to us; take accountability for your mental health by seeking out those people who can act as guiding lights on our journey.
My last tip is to RECLAIM those parts of yourself that you may have abandoned over the years, especially if you are just getting out of a relationship.
Relationships often take up so much energy and space that we inevitably begin to neglect parts of ourselves that don’t necessarily fit with the values or mores of the relationship. This might include hobbies, interests, or activities that fell down to the bottom of your priority list or maybe fell off of it completely. Now is the time to dust off those ballroom dancing shoes, retrieve your old art supplies from storage, start that project you’ve been putting off, and get back to who “you” were before the relationship.
Remember that some of the world’s best music and art has been born out of broken hearts so use your God-given creativity and imagination to channel your emotions into art. If you’re feeling creatively blocked or stuck, you can join an online masterclass and browse through hundreds of topics that will get your creative juices flowing. Your emotions are your colors and you are an artist; now it’s up to you to find your canvas and paint something on it!
I hope this blog post has served you during a time you need it most. I’d love to hear your thoughts and reflections. What else would you add to this list? What are some of your favorite heart-healing practices?
On August 1, I’ll be hosting my signature workshop Heal YourHEART: How To Process Your Pain So It Doesn’t Turn Into Suffering. In this 3-hourvirtual workshop, you will learn:
- The difference between PAIN and SUFFERING
- How to process STRESS so it doesn’t turn into ANXIETY
- How to process SADNESS so it doesn’t turn into DEPRESSION
- What it means to “sit with your feelings” or “go inside.”
- My Signature, easy-to-remember method for managing unpleasant emotions through self-inquiry.
- How to transform your PAIN into BLISS
This is an inquiry workshop, which means we’ll have the opportunity to share the space with others in (2) group inquiry sessions. Group inquiry sessions provide a space to explore and communicate our relationship with our emotions in a safe and sacred container. In group inquiry sessions, you will learn:
- How to listen empathically
- How to hold space for yourself and others
- How to see and feel yourself and others intimately
- How to come in contact with your truth
- How to speak your truth independently of the image you carry
- You will come in contact with the relaxation and joy which manifests as you connect deeply with yourself.
The contribution for this workshop is $105.00. Space is limited so please RSVP by July 26. For more information and to register, visit the link below: